Brass monkey.

Last Tuesday night I was playing fottball for 2 hours in the freezing cold wind and rain, right.
I gets home and starts to take all my kit off to get into the shower after sitting chittering with the cold on the sofa. Whilst taking the undercrackers off I thought - 'that feels a bit funny' I gives myself a wee touch to make sure everything is ok in the engine room and one of my hee-haws got sooked up inside me!

Totally shat it. It popped out after the longest 5-10 seconds of my life but for a wee while there I was only half a man.

I'm tip-top now though, dinnae worry.

Calvin's first exhibition.

Calvin's school is doing an exhibition of his work for the Christmas fete. Adults and kids donate a wee bit cash to see his work - the money goes to the school's funds. Here's some images of the box he's taking to school today (you can click on each image to see a bigger version). He's got a mixture of stuff in it including a Heffalump, Winnie the Pooh, characters from Disney's Cars, King Kong and Pingu amongst others.

If you want to see more stuff from Calvin you can click on his name here.

Marks & Spencers Christmas campaign.

I'm glad Little Richard got rid of the dopey 'tache for the filming of the M&S Christmas ad. Pictures above show rehersals and the finished thing.

Sharlene's got her jams...

... ready for the Xmas period. Cranberries and blue berries in the pot.

This is a picture before the sugar started to melt and she could give them a stir.

Sh'e got all her pots from Lakeland Plastics and is ready to roll.

Christmas Holly Ollie

Wee Ollie gets into the early Christmas spirit by wearing his new reindeer mask. He's totally up for it this year, I can tell.

Shooting star.

Cheers to Cameron for giving me a borrow of his camera. It's a Canon 300D and takes pretty sweet piccies. I'm going to have to get one and then win loads of awards taking pictures of ladies with the twins oot. Yeah!

Sharlene's got wind.

They'll talk about it in Newtongrange forever. The night the McCluskie's greenhouse got ripped up from it's plastic moorings and turned inside out. Look at the destruction in the photos - you can see the pond has three or four leaves in it. The whole place looks like hurricane Tattie has blown right through.

Public anemone number 1.*

After minutes of thinking, Sharlene and I have decided that Cameron had to go back to the shop. We took him back to The Aquatic Rooms in Leith Walk on Sunday afternoon and they'll give us something in return for him in a couple of days.

In the mean time, we bought a sweet looking Fan Worm, two little Yellow Tailed Damsels and two little Green Blue Chromis's's's. The tank looks much better now that the big white mop is no longer taking up all the space and eating all the occupants. Unfortunately he has also upset one of our corals as, on the Sunday morning, he was sitting on top of it.


*thank you ryan

Sea food and he eats it.

Jesus, this anemone is costing us a fortune. We bought a nice wee Cleaner shrimp on Saturday afternoon last week – he lasted about three hours and was gone. Gulp. Next, on Thursday night, he friggin ate the smaller Clown fish. They are meant to be mates! Cheeky get. Now only the larger Clown is swimming about but she lives in the anemone so she, fingers crossed, should be alright.

I think we are going to call him Cameron.

Doggy style.

Do you want some of this?

The terrible two's.

Here is a picture taken by Simon of wee Molly and wee-er Katie during their first day at home together.

Ain't no skool like the old skool.

Yeah, that's right, your eyes are privileged to be staring at a pair of ZX600. Sweet. Takes me way back these bad boys to when I had a pair back in the 80s. Back when I was in my pomp.

I think I might start hanging around the old Safeway up at Carmondean in Livi and maybe start drinking wee bottles of Henry Funk beers. Might start talking about the D.C.M., Grumbleweeds, Headhunters, Bushwakers and the Paninari with some top boys and that.

Katie Homes

So what if Tom 'big snozzer' Cruise is getting married to Katie Holmes today. Simon and Lorraine have brought Katie home on Friday evening. Good luck guys.

As you can see from the hospital photos, Si was so excited about the birth of his second daughter he had to squeeze a wee kick-ee out there and then.

Baby, I'm amazed!

My wee brother Simon and his wife Lorraine have just had another baby. Wee Katie was born at 2pm (ish) on November the 15th in St John's Hospital in Livingston, weighing in at 7lbs 12ozs.

Going to see her tomorrow.

Nicely done guys.

x

Blackpool!

Years ago, Sharlene and I went for a trip to Blackpool. Here's a couple of pics from the dirty weekend.

World Cup footballs

Here a picture of all the football used in the Wordl Cup from 1970 up to 2002. This pic was taken by a mobile phone camera in an adidas shop in Stuttgart.

Anema... Amenom... Anomee...

Look at this big fluffy anemone. The female clown is happy as a sand eel. All cuddled in and trippy.

Lumpy and Eeyore!

And here's Eeyore too.

Heffalump!

Here's some pictures of Lumpy, Calvin's latest model from some Winnie the Pooh movie.

Early Halloween party!

We had an early party for Calvin tonight. Everyone made an effort which was great!

From left to right we have Ryan/witch, me/Dracula, Sharlene/witch, Calvin/werewolf, Stacey/devil, Granny Marge/saw through the head, Granda Kenny/witch, Si and Lorraine/suicide bombers and Molly/baby witch.

Italian Nike posters

These are pretty sweet.

More tank pics.

Here's a cool wee pic of the street urchin crawling or whatever they do across the front of the cage. Also a pic of our corals and mushrooms that will hopefully grow mad, hi.

He's looking like his mum more every day.

Hearts show squad rotation the red card.

Why have Hearts turned shite over the summer?

Here's the squad packed with Lithuanian talent about to get humped by two at home to Kilmarnock. Pricks – us, not them.

Buy your Heroin here.

So these Eastern Block shuys think they can come over here and start selling their drugs and hope to get away with it do they? We should take a stand and tell them to either stop it or share the profit. It's only fair.

Only in Leith can you get away with a shop like this.

Nana's New But'n'ben.

Me and my wee brother moved my Nana's gear to her new house on Saturday. I carried most of the stuff because of my big guns. Simon, he is not ready yet, he'll be ready in six weeks.

Big Greener!

Here's a picture of these wee magic mushrooms we've got in our fish tank now. They glow bright green when they're in the dark.

Kelvingrove Art Gallery and Museum.

We went to the Kelvingrove Arty Gallery and Museum on Thursday for a wee trip. Me, Shaz, Calvin and Ry Boy. The place has tons of really good stuff in it that we could have spent all day looking at but we had to keep moving so Calvin didn't get too bored. Think we're going to go back there again so we can have a real look at the stuff. The best bits of art I personally thought were done by the Scottish artists – I think that is because some of the scenes were recognisable but mostly 'cause they were great. The Monet's were also amazing but I think the best one I seen was the painting of the Glasgow tenement block. I'm so learned.