Brass monkey.

Last Tuesday night I was playing fottball for 2 hours in the freezing cold wind and rain, right.
I gets home and starts to take all my kit off to get into the shower after sitting chittering with the cold on the sofa. Whilst taking the undercrackers off I thought - 'that feels a bit funny' I gives myself a wee touch to make sure everything is ok in the engine room and one of my hee-haws got sooked up inside me!

Totally shat it. It popped out after the longest 5-10 seconds of my life but for a wee while there I was only half a man.

I'm tip-top now though, dinnae worry.